Iraq

Well Jason went back to North Carolina yesterday to finish up some training before going to where he'll be stationed. We went to Mom's house to have supper with him and Mom before he left again. It's sad. It's going to be so hard on me if he goes to Iraq, which he predicts he will by October or November. I'm not particularly close with my brother but I don't want him going to Iraq. I don't believe in this war in the first place and I know he only joined the military to better his life. He didn't do it because he believes in the fight either. He told Mom that she shouldn't worry about him being in Iraq because you don't hear about the millions who come home only the ones that don't. It's still too scary for me to think about. I was in tears on the way home. I won't be able to watch the news or hear any talk of the war. Because of his position he most likely won't see combat but still, it's not the place I'd want him to be.

Seeing him do this has really inspired me to better my life. It's time for me to start doing something great. I need to be making money and saving for a better life. I wish I knew where I wanted to end up and then I wouldn't have anything holding me back. I would love to write and need to put my time into my book so I can see where that can lead me. That would be something to be proud of that no one could outshine or make me feel unimportant for. It's worth the effort and it's a lot of fun. In the meantime I need to go back to school and have a backup career. I need to get a job and decorate my house. I need something to be proud of and something to take my mind of things if my brother does end up in this war.

I need to do something productive everyday. I want to work on my story and workout as well as doing decorating things around the house. I will be productive and make things work for me. I need to better my life since I'm the only one in control of it. I will do it too.